2022 BMW K1600 GT Christmas Chiseler Tour

Chrissy Rogers and I had been toying with the concept of a pre-Christmas blast up the Pacific coast to Hearst Fort for a number of days whereas enterprise was sluggish, for the reason that climate was an impeccable partly cloudy and 60-ish levels. That or perhaps the Ruta de Vino down Mexico means? Perhaps hop within the new-to-me 23-year previous Jaguar? Take the prepare? On the identical time, we’re each conscious that the 2 of us in a sealed container works greatest if the container is not less than 1500 sq. toes, compartmentalized into rooms, and stationary. I are likely to get somewhat labored up driving a automobile out and in of SoCal when there’s site visitors (there’s at all times site visitors), adopted by Christine getting labored up at my getting labored up, adopted by, why don’t we simply hang around right here at dwelling and eat and drink and save the cash? As a result of we’re chiselers.

Simply then the inbox supplied up the information that Ryan Adams was too busy to check the BMW K1600 GT in his storage, and did I need to? Hmmmmm. Apparently, Rogers has many criticisms of the best way I drive cars and freely expresses them, however tends to truly approve of my bike driving each time she climbs off the again of 1 I’ve been working. I’m fairly positive I trip the identical means I drive, however she’s not shopping for it.

Perhaps she has a degree: Within the automobile, you haven’t any selection however to repeatedly work your means across the passing-lane indigents with growing impatience. On a motorcycle, particularly one just like the K1600 GT, all the things in your path is way much less of an impediment. You’re a giant shark within the koi pond. On a white Ok-bike, numerous individuals even suppose you’re a cop arising behind and GTFO. It’s far more stress-free than being in a automobile, and that chill vibe most likely does radiate to all on board.

Critically, if we’re “testing” the BMW, then MO is choosing up the tab. A part of the tab anyway: Brasfield gave the go-ahead for one lodge night time and sooner or later’s rations, even when I used to be pondering extra two nights and three days round-trip. Northward, then. San Simeon. Filth roads in Mexico are actually not the place for this bike.

Our 2022 GT in Possibility 719 Mineral White Metallic, with Premium Package deal, Possibility 719 cast wheels, and so on, and so on, lists for $26,590. It’s the definition of “raring to go.”

Within the print journal days, I keep in mind being instructed if we don’t use all our testing funds for this 12 months, we’ll get much less subsequent 12 months, so spend away fellas! For some time there at Cycle World within the early ‘90s, I had an organization bank card and by no means noticed the invoice. A couple of days on the highway undoubtedly made it simpler to get into the pinnacle of the one who’d be shopping for a $25,000 BMW like this one, and it was for positive nice incentive to trip far and broad. Like we would have liked one. At the moment, we’re within the chisel period. Not that I don’t love my employer! I imply, it’s no one’s fault however the web’s, the place we give away without spending a dime what we used to cost for. And we’ve already given you loads of BMW K1600 content material, together with this most up-to-date K1600 B overview, so forgive this one for being extra travelogue than highway take a look at. Although it additionally might wind up being a highway take a look at. Who is aware of?

Posh lodging

This K1600 being the GT, there’s no backrest nor trunk, although there may be all the things else together with heated seats, computerized preload adjustment, and two huge sidebags. The 1st step was a 15-minute shakedown run to see if Rogers would have the ability to hold on for 5 – 6 hours and 300 miles again there. The prognosis was good. I might put on my favourite Shoei Neotec 2 as a result of it’s a terrific helmet and since my Cardo is mounted to it. I even have a brand new Cardo Packtalk Edge nonetheless within the field that I contemplated placing in Chrissy’s HJC. After a brief dialogue with myself, I made a decision in opposition to it.

Primarily as a result of I’d already been haggling with the BMW’s navigation app for an hour, then going to Finest Purchase for a USB-C to Lightning adapter wire so I may simply use my telephone as a substitute. Attempting to sync a Packtalk Daring to a Packtalk Edge after that may have put me over the sting. All good excuses for realizing I’d relatively hearken to the radio and some podcasts than any doable static from the passenger compartment; complaints might be submitted through a punch within the kidneys like in olden instances.

On the Street

There’re about ten completely different excursions of Hearst Fort, every of which takes about an hour. That means, they’ll get you to schedule a few excursions, and chisel you $30 per. We would have liked to be there, 280 miles up the coast, able to go by 2:40 pm for the Grand Rooms tour. Amazingly, we had been wheels up at 8:30 am as deliberate: Six hours ought to be loads of time, even with a leisurely breakfast burrito cease within the beautiful little seashore city of Carpinteria.

Natch, the nearer we received the extra I noticed we had been delayed, and the extra velocity we dialed up on the GT. On this machine, Grand Touring matches. That 1649cc inline Six isn’t a screamer, it’s a midrange-intensive torquer than does its greatest work – 117 lb-ft, at simply 5200 rpm – the place you’ll be going fairly a bit quicker than the velocity restrict; 4000 creamy rpm and 90-ish is a pleasant velocity that appears tolerable to all people. No matter velocity you ring up, the bike simply yawns. Set the electrical windshield the place you need and cruise. It’s additionally good that the 7-gallon tank and 39 mpg I averaged on this journey means you barely need to cease.

Central locking with the contact of a button, because of the distant fob.

With a passenger and loaded saddlebags, I appreciated the brand new computerized preload system on the GT, one thing I by no means actually observed driving alone on the K1600 B. An additional 200 kilos on the again doesn’t faze the bike in any respect, which maintains its pitch always, although Street mode serves up a virtually pillowy trip alongside the principally straight, sweeping roads we blasted upon to San Simeon.

We pulled into William Randolph Hearst’s car parking zone with six minutes to spare. There’s a guests middle the place you get tickets and fridge magnets and issues, and the place you get on the bus that takes you one other few miles up the winding mountain highway to the citadel. The restrooms had been closed, although, since all of the water from the spring up the mountain is supposedly reserved for the livestock; you peasants assist your self to the porta-potties lined up out entrance, and when you’re thirsty a plastic bottle of water is $4.69. I’d pay that for a giant Perrier perhaps, however in any other case I choose to dehydrate.

The mountain spring has no downside maintaining the 345,000-gallon Neptune pool crammed up, which drains by way of a turbine that powers the citadel’s electrics. You’ll be able to swim in it twice a 12 months when you be part of the Hearst Basis. Get out the checkbook, darling.

The highway up there may be even enjoyable on a bus because of the perpetually ocean views as you climb to the compound’s 1600-feet elevation. I’d blasted by the place numerous instances on bikes, questioning if I’d actually noticed zebras a number of of these instances (sure) or simply drank an excessive amount of the night time earlier than, however I had by no means taken the time to cease. The state owns the place now, since not one of the heirs may swing the maintenance, however the grandkids did handle to hold on to all the most costly art work and 83,000 acres of oceanfront property for the meat operation.

It’s a protracted solution to city for a gallon of milk or no matter.

Up prime, a docent pointed to a far-off mountaintop about 5 ridgelines over and requested if we knew what it was? Mt. Whitney? No, it’s the sting of the northern property line. Privateness for the Hearsts was not a difficulty. Nor cash. William Randolph Hearst was the Rupert Murdoch of his period. The citadel itself is all the things you’d anticipate from a citadel, and so is all of the priceless artwork and historic fireplaces and ceilings from a time when importing that stuff from the Previous World was authorized sport. I even discovered a ingesting fountain up there and managed to sneak a number of free sips of water.

To sleep, perchance to chisel…

We’ve at all times stayed on the Bluebird Motel in Cambria, a pleasant old style place within the walkable center of city the place you park in entrance of your room; The Brambles steakhouse across the nook was at all times good for blowing a good-sized gap within the expense account. It was enjoyable to do Airbnb for some time there, till all of the hosts grew to become chiselers: Oh, $98 sounds doable; then clicking on the entry provides one other $50 for the cleansing price and $40 extra for “processing.” Yo, course of this.

Now, it’s simply as low cost and simpler to remain in a pleasant motel you already know. Our room had a espresso maker, however just one packet of low cost decaf. However it was okay, as a result of the foyer was only a few steps away and had good espresso and a pleasant receptionist. By the point I’d had a number of cups (I would like MO to get its $190 value of facilities), we realized our 10 am Upstairs Suites tour was quickly to start and off we blasted, six miles again up Freeway 1 to the citadel, delayed as standard.

Trying ahead to extra priceless gilded splendor, I first stepped right into a slippery-floored porta-pottie to empty my espresso (if there’s a rest room up prime, they’d most likely desire a quarter). I had steeled myself to buy a $4.69 bottle of water however was rebuffed by the woman working the snack bar, who wouldn’t open the money register till the grill opened at 11. I instructed her I didn’t want my water grilled, then acknowledged from her gulag demeanor that resistance and humor had been each futile. I contained myself, however needed to observe they might simply change the title to Thirst Fort.

Trying previous all that, when you’re in any respect serious about historical past and palaces and uncommon previous artwork, I can’t imagine I’d by no means been earlier than in 30+ years of swank California dwelling. Effectively value it regardless of the chiseling, which continued on the bus trip again down as Alex Trebek inspired us all to dig deep on an countless beyond-the-grave audio loop, as a result of the citadel’s maintenance ain’t low cost. I get it, however my tough estimation tells me that, at like 40 excursions a day @ 30 individuals every @ $25 apiece (children are $15 as a substitute of $30), they’re bringing in like $30k a day within the low season. And don’t neglect to choose up some Hearst Ranch beef to go together with that $4.69 water and fridge magnet. I used to be ready to make use of our restricted space for storing to speak Christine down from a number of impulse buys. The Hearst Vineyard, down by the San Simeon pier siren-called to us however failed – however solely as a result of we had been driving dammit.

Okay we stopped. However just for mineral water and a charcuterie board!

That night time, again on our personal dime, the Palomar Inn in Shell Seashore had rooms for $89 on-line. On the desk, the perfect the man may do was $129 plus taxes and costs… so I stepped exterior and made the reservation on my telephone. With taxes and costs, it wound up being $129. Victory! Right here, there was a Keurig machine, however you wanted to carry your individual pods. Fortunately the Steaming Bean was immediately subsequent door. I received a big cuppa and strolled to the seashore on a crisp sunny Christmas Eve morning, with storm clouds forming offshore, whereas Rogers beauty-slept. Bliss, actually…

I began to have a micro-frustration after I received again to the room and my key card now not labored. I knocked gently at first, then a bit tougher. Then Rogers caught her head out of the room subsequent door. I’d been banging on the fallacious one. Yo, why are they all painted purple?!

The Impediment is the Manner

Freeway 101 as soon as you bought north of LA used to circulation fairly good. Recently, as extra individuals have bailed northward out of the massive metropolis, they’ve introduced lots of big-city congestion together with them. On this Christmas Eve morning, there’s an countless line of vehicles within the southbound left lane capable of transfer solely as quick because the slowest member of the herd, which is not less than 20 mph slower than the GT’s most popular velocity.

Fortunately, nature and CalTrans have supplied the answer in Freeway 166 east, which takes you from Caligestion to the outback within the area of about 20 seconds; simply take a left at Santa Maria. Immediately, it’s simply Rogers and me and some cows and hawks, on a abandoned two-lane winding its means by way of hills and pastures inexperienced from latest rain. It’s extra miles to get dwelling, however such good, stress-free quick ones, the time most likely works out to about the identical.

After reining within the Ok-bike these final couple of days, I used to be form of pondering it is likely to be a little bit of overkill for American roads and our low velocity limits, and you could possibly be simply as blissful on, like, an R1250 RS. However 166 jogged my memory of the error of my pondering: Rolling on and off the throttle within the prime two gears, within the thick of that torque curve by way of these clean, gradual sweepers would possibly as effectively have been a two-up trackday at Circuito Catalunya, however far more enjoyable/stress-free. Funaxing.

It’s about 60 swoopy miles on 166 from the 101 to the intersection with 33 south; we did it in an hour and that contains an off-the-cuff lunch/fuel cease in New Cuyama. You solely must decelerate when passing the occasional automobile so that you don’t scare the bejeezus out of its occupants. Fortunately, the Buckhorn was closed (kinda dear), so I used to be capable of deal with Rog to a 7-inch pizza with all the things on the different restaurant on the town for like 8 bucks. Free drink refills. The chiseled turns into the chiseler… 

No complaints

On day three, there have been nonetheless zero complaints from the again seat. I wore an previous Moose vest so Chrissy would have one thing to seize onto as wanted (along with the bike’s huge grabrails), however she did no grabbing on in any respect. A couple of of her vertebrae are fused from an previous automobile crash, and again ache is a recurrent difficulty. Despite the bike not having a backrest (besides my 30-year previous Wolfpack tail bag), she felt like supporting herself together with her legs and utilizing her stomach and again muscle mass for stability made the GT essentially the most comfy 160-hp exercycle she’s ever ridden.

More often than not, anyway. Neither the bike nor Rogers’ spinal column appreciated the tremendous bumpy/twisty Santa Rosa Creek Street, which sneaks out the again door of Cambria and over the mountain. The softish Street mode had a tough time coping with all its nasty pavement undulations totally laden, and Sport was worse.

Freeway 33 is simply as expeditious as 166, till you get a methods south and need to climb over the coastal vary behind Ventura. I’d wished to replenish on the Pistachio Retailer in Maricopa for stocking stuffers for the youngsters, however it was closed dammit. No means I’m paying retail. It’ll be one orange apiece and chocolate Santas from Massive Heaps.

Possibility 719 seat doesn’t damage both. It’s wired for warmth, with particular person controls for rider and passenger.

By then, I used to be all out of podcasts and music and again to the old style pleasure of being one with the universe through flying in very low orbit by way of it. You may get into that zone on any bike, however in terms of most filtration of extraneous discomforts and turning into naught however a flying cerebrum – okay two flying cerebrums, one with a foul again, and neither one precisely spritely anymore – I can’t consider a motorbike that would do it higher, and a motorbike is the perfect car for doing it. A Gold Wing is good too.

Massive Dam Tour Half Due: BMW Ok 1600 B Vs Honda Gold Wing DCT

I began to really feel like all of the chiseling I’d been subjected to currently was greater than value it, since we had been having the final chortle on the universe zotting round on Starship Chiselprise. After three days on the GT and 700 miles, we each arrived dwelling in late afternoon pain- and recrimination-free. Nothing however nice recollections these few weeks later is unpresidented. Thanks and blissful birthday, Child Jesus.

Regrets?

Apple CarPlay can be good, however I’ve to imagine a non-technophobe may get the BMW’s nav system to work virtually as effectively (I did it earlier than on the 1600 B), together with all the opposite superior electronics I didn’t use on this fast blast. I believe the primary new-bike launch I ever attended was for the all-new R1100 RS. That one was the primary oilhead boxer, in 1993. This K1600 makes that RS really feel like a primitive Mercury area capsule – full with a chimp on the controls, in my case – however I keep in mind the identical form of expansive bliss driving that bike again to California from the Ozarks. I like this journal enterprise! What may probably go fallacious!

Chisel schmisel. Sure individuals had been down on William Randolph Hearst for blowing the household fortune on the citadel and furnishings. He died earlier than it was even completed, after like 18 years of development that might’ve taken that many extra to finish even when he hadn’t run out of cash. However it appears he cherished each minute of it, galloping across the place on horseback along with his cronies, numerous whom flew into the non-public airstrip. Smacking the tennis ball with Charlie Chaplin, making motion pictures with Marion Davies. In different phrases, a person of wealth and style no matter you might have considered his politics. If WRH had been a motorbike man in a time warp, I guarantee you he would have had a fleet of those BMWs, and I critically doubt Citizen Kane would have ended with a silly sled. Rosebud would’ve been a BMW K1600, undecided if B or GT. Why not one in every of every?

Rides like this virtually make a lifetime of chiseling value it.